Min booook :)
Introducing my first and favorite character ^^. Detta är vad jag jobbat på idag. Har bara skrivit om den 3 gånger. Så det är ett work in progress. Men så här långt har jag iaf kommit på Illidias presentation. För er som inte vet så heter min bok Maiden. Så då vet ni det nu iaf :). Jag gillar att skriva om lite mörkare saker. Vill gärna ha rätt "mänskliga karaktärer". Synpunkter är önskvärda. Men att min stycke-indelning är fucked up, det vet jag redan. Har alltid haft jättesvårt för det :S. Så jag får hitta någon som kan hjälpa mig med det :). Det finns en mening som word säger är grammatiskt inkorrekt. Och jag kommer inte på hur det skulle kunna stå för att det ska bli rätt. Så det får ni gärna hjälpa till med :).
Illidia - Do you have the courage to see the light in the darkest of places?
It was almost springtime. The sun was shining brightly outside the smudged windows of the tiny cabin. Illidia sat huddled in a corner. The single room of the cabin was chilly, but her shaking was due to other reasons. “How did this happen…?” She felt so lonely. The bruises on her body hurt with every single heartbeat.
Illidia grew up in a small village where nothing out of the ordinary ever happened. People lived their lives as normal as can be. The village where she lived, Kia, was located at the southern shore of Niekra Bay. It was not famous for much. Most of the fishing took place on the eastern shores. The water was calmer there. Some people claimed it had something to do with the Water Temple located to the north, but that was mostly rumors. No one really knew what was going on at the temples, and they did not really care. Every once in awhile some fishermen on their way south to the capitol would stop in the village for a day or two. They would stay at the local inn, and this is where Illidia lived and worked. The inn served as a pub as well. And that’s where the soldiers on duty usually spent their spare time. So there was no surprise when five soldiers barged in one evening. They wanted a private room to drink in. No problems there because they had hardly any guests this time a year. Soldiers had a high status at the villages since their protection was much needed. No one ever argued with them, and if they ever did something wrong, the villagers would usually let it pass. The soldiers were replaced regularly, so it was hard to keep track of them. Illidia did not recognize the five who had entered that evening. But her adoptive mother, and the wife of the innkeeper, told her that they were part of the royal guard. Apparently they were out here on some royal business of which they did not speak about. But it didn’t matter. The royal guard was never questioned. They did what they wanted, when they wanted, and to whomever they wanted to. The guards had requested Illidia to be their personal waitress that evening because she was “such a very sweet and pretty child”. Her adoptive father looked a bit startled when they had said this. But of course he agreed. There was no other choice. Illidia did not understand why this would bother her father at all. But she left the thought and tended to her business. When she entered the room, she could almost instantly sense that there was something wrong. There was something about the air surrounding the men. She tried to keep the smile on her face while serving the men. After placing the last cup on the table she turned around to leave. But one of the men was blocking the exit. The mood turned instantly dark. They beat her badly. Telling her how much she really liked it, and how she would just love the next part. After all, it was an honor to serve the royal guard. She tried to fight against them. But it was futile. She was to weak, and they we’re too many. Just as one of them was about the pull of her skirt, her heart wrenched with such a power that it made her scream out in terror. When she did, the windows suddenly burst open with such strength that the glass shattered and flew everywhere across the room. While the soldiers were caught in the surprise and confusion Illidia got up and ran. She raced down the stairs to the kitchen where she knew she would find her mom and dad. But when she entered, the protection she was hoping for could not be found. Her dad looked at her almost disappointed. Her mom sitting next to him even refused to look at her. She was shocked and dismayed. “She was not supposed to run?” She grabbed her coat, and she ran, as far away as she could. The tears in her eyes were burning with such intensity that she could hardly see the ground ahead of her. Her heart was breaking into a million pieces and the pain was almost unbearable. She was leaving the only home she had ever known behind her. All the people she grew up with. All the ones she had loved. All of it with the pain of her parent’s betrayal deeply etched inside her.
And now, here she was, sitting inside an old abandoned cabin. Not far from Kia, but securely hidden in the close by forests. “Is this it?” She asked herself. “Is this really all there is…?” She could barely even finish the sentence when the door in front of her suddenly opened. She stared in surprise at the man now standing in front of her. He smiled and walked over to where she was sitting. He leant down one on knee and said, still smiling; “There you are. I’ve been looking a long time for you” He reached out his hand towards her. He wore colorful rings that distracted her eyes. “I’m sorry for imposing on you and for what I am about to tell you. But you are safe now. I will guard your smile with my life”
She was in complete chock. “Was this for real?” He was still smiling at her. Her chest hurt so much from all the insecurities, the questions and all those wounds. But in her dark tattered heart a light appeared, smiling gently towards her. She hesitated for a moment, gathering her courage. She looked up at the stranger. “My smile?” She asked softly. Not daring to speak any louder in case this was just a dream. He looked gently at her and nodded. He moved forwards. Her heart jumped in surprise. His warm embrace surrounded her tiny frame. His grip was firm yet gentle. She was scared at first, but she was too tired to fight the dark anymore. She surrendered to his arms and sighed. She felt safe now.
The man introduced himself as Diamond. He told her the story about Kaeomi, the maidens and about the temples. She had a hard time believing she was one of them. But his words were honest. She could tell. They talked for hours. Or rather, he talked and she listened. He told her all about himself, his family, how he became a guardian. He said he wanted her to feel at ease while with him. And after a while she kind of did.
Illidia was looking up at the windows. Dia was sitting next to her. The sun was setting now, casting an almost eerie glow on the early spring sky.
“You know. I wasn’t sure at first” She told him. She stopped talking when noticing he was looking at her with an odd expression on his face. “Is there something wrong?” She asked carefully. Dia smiled that warm smile that soothed her so. “No. Nothing’s wrong” He pondered. “You don’t have to talk about it right now you know? It must have been a big shock on you. And thinking what you’ve been through…” He shook his finger at her. “No, it just won’t do. You know I’m taking you to the capitol. You can worry about everything while were there. Its tiring travelling this time a year, so I need you to gather your strength. The most important thing right now is for you to get some rest”
Illidia almost smiled. “Thank you Diamond” Her voice was straining. “I don’t feel so lonely now, so thanks”. She closed her eyes and almost instantly fell asleep. She would worry about the rest tomorrow.
*
"flew everywhere in the room" <--> "across the room"
kanske???
guuu vilken slafsig sörja!
du missade totalt utséendet på karaktärerna, det enda distinkt är om ringarna.
kan ba säga: EPIC FAAAAIL!!!1!
Nobelt av mig att ta mig tid till att göra dig till en bättre skrivare =D
Tur att sånna som jag finns! <3
Så så, nu har du världens bästa tips från mig så att du blir en storsäljare! Kom ihåg att tacka mig i dina böcker! ;)
Ps: Våldtäkt signalerna flaggade gode högt i början när soldaterna kom, meningen???
Ditt jävla cp ^^. Men jag håller med, across, jag ändrade på det ^^. Iofs så ändrar jag alltid något i texten varje gång jag läser det ;). Totalt medveten om att jag inte beskriver utseende.. Men det är tråkigt :S.